


A Knock that Changed Christmas

by Regal_Regina



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: A SwanQueen Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Emotional Beginning and Warm Ending, F/F, Short & Sweet, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-17 21:40:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13085904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Regal_Regina/pseuds/Regal_Regina
Summary: Christmas had never been a season Emma had enjoyed, she'd always felt that lonely hurtful tug in her heart whenever she saw families together on that festive day. She'd only wished she wasn't alone. She'd thought she'd gotten over the melancholy of this holiday. But as she settled herself on her empty couch in her empty house, bringing her knees to her chest and hugging them tightly and wishing she was elsewhere, she hears a knock at her door. A knock that Emma never knew she needed or ever realized would mean so much. A knock that changed Christmas in her eyes forever.





	A Knock that Changed Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> Wishing all you SwanQueen fans out there a very Merry Christmas! 
> 
> Note: a few melancholy moments to begin with, but it will warm you by the end.

****

**“Merry Christmas”**

It was officially Christmas. Carollers were singing, snow was falling and decorations were littering the streets. The festive season was upon them and Emma was…alone.

Her Parents were leading a children’s camp for all those who were without parents or families; the lost boys and the orphans, taking them with other teachers from the school who had no family to celebrate with. It was a sweet idea. In fact, Emma had kind of been the one who came up with it…

_“Oh, it’s going to be amazing! I mean of course we celebrate every year together, but now! Now we have this little one and we can celebrate as a fully charming family, now can’t we?” Mary Margaret cooed to Emma’s little brother, little baby Neal, who was idly toying with his knitted blanket that wrapped snuggly around his torso before being attacked with little kisses and her mums baby-talk._

_Emma smiled at the sight. She felt a little sting at the implication that her mother finally had a ‘full family’ to celebrate Christmas with…like Emma was more of a cousin or friend than her actual daughter. But she’s noticed the stings of any of her mothers off-hand family related comments stung a lot less now...or well, she’s gotten used to them. Emma knew she didn’t mean anything by it, but Emma couldn’t help but feel the way she did._

_Every year of her life growing up, Christmas had been the one time of year she personally hated. She loathed anything even remotely related to the season. It took her a while to figure out why when she was really little, when she had been sitting out the front of one of her foster homes’ yards at eight years old and the neighbors across the road grabbed her attention._

_She’d been making mini snowmen with the muddy snow that was still left after her foster-dad had cleared the yard. He didn’t like snow, said they made more of a mess when they played in it, so naturally she just decided to play with the next best thing, she called it ‘muddy frosting’. It was when she heard giggling from across the street that she hopped up, dusted off her icy hands and peered through the broken fence. There, on the other side of the road was the most magical thing she’d ever seen._

_Her neighbors had trailed lights all around the trees in their yard and up their roof. Mismatched and oddly colored but to Emma it looked like rainbow stars. She ‘wow’-ed at the site, edging closer to get a better look before her foster-dad caught her loitering. Then she saw them. Two laughing parents with a camera, something as cheap as their lights (their neighborhood wasn’t the best after all) filming their two little boys and their little girl throwing snow at each other. It looked like fun. They were taking chunks out of the perfectly plump snowman they’d built and were dashing around their glowing yard until they bumped into each other and burst out into a fit of giggles. As they all plopped onto the ground, they began making snow angels, and as Emma glanced back to the parents, she saw them side-hug each other and smile, smile, smile._

_It was then that Emma felt it. Like an icy grip to her little heart, she realized what was missing from her life…what would always be missing as she gazed at the house across the street. She would never have that, she could feel it. In the few homes she’d stayed at so far she’d always been met with the same harsh realities, the same cruel kids, the same mean hurtful foster parents, the same cold dark rooms, the same empty fridges. It had never really bothered her until that moment. Every day she’d lifted her chin and dared anyone to try and poke holes in her life…but then, then she’d felt so fragile, so small. As she stared with wide eyes at what was a true ‘family’ she felt herself crumble. And as the tear rolled down her dimpled cheek she cursed the season that was Christmas and hated everything to do with it._

_As Emma sat in the Diner before her mum, still cooing her child, Emma spoke out loud before she even realized she had, “I hope everyone has a family to spend Christmas with…”._

_Mary Margaret’s head jumped up, realization and sadness swimming in her eyes before she began discussing how they should start a program for the Lost Boys, the orphans and anyone else who didn’t have somewhere warm and merry to be. Emma liked the idea…that was until she heard a month later that her mother had organized a Christmas for all ‘lone-kids’ with charming as her support, and of course their baby in tow (considering he still needed his mother at his young age), on Christmas day. Mary Margaret had gotten Regina to approve and had asked the Merry Men to decorate their now-well-established wooden cabins to house them all as they celebrated a white Christmas in the forest._

Emma loved the idea, really she did, she hated the feeling of knowing their were kids like she had been, lonely and jealous, without anywhere to go on Christmas, but she just wished her mother had thought about her before she’d run ahead with it. Mary Margaret had effectively packed up and left with the whole charming family (herself excluded), leaving Emma alone for the days they were gone and now…Christmas day. Mary Margaret had assumed Emma would be spending it with Killian…she hadn’t exactly told her she’d broken up with him months before, which was her own fault really, but she didn’t want to face her mother’s disappointment at missing her opportunity at ‘True Love’, so she’d kept it to herself. They’d drifted apart and Emma felt the only reason she was with him was because she owed him something, namely for him giving up his ship for her. She’d hated herself when it’d dawned on her.

Not only that, but…she’d been growing closer to Regina. They were just friends, but Emma had begun to gravitate towards the Mayor long before she even knew why. They begun eating lunch together in Regina’s office almost every day, then after a few weeks, Regina had started coming to her. They shared family dinners at the Manor, some of the best nights of Emma’s life; having filled her stomach with the most delicious food, courtesy of Regina, and laughing with her son and his other mother. And as the weeks went by Emma begun to realize…she didn’t feel complete without being around her. Seeing her for lunch, or dinner, or even accidentally bumping into her on the street or at the diner became the highlight of Emma’s days. It was then that she ended things with Killian and finally realized the way she felt about the Mayor.

Emma couldn’t hope for more of course. Regina had shut herself off after Robin had died and Emma had done enough to hurt her, she’d take friendship any day if it meant she could be around her.

So naturally, Emma was single, family-less and alone on Christmas morning. She didn’t really know what to do with herself. Taping the last bit of tinsel to the sill of her fireplace, Emma looked around her home. She had set up the tree and decorated it, with Henry’s help before he had to go over to Regina’s for their agreed upon split time with Henry. This year’s Christmas of course being Regina’s turn with him. Aside from that, the mistletoe by the stairs, the lights hanging in the hallway and now the tinsel above her fireplace, she didn’t really have much left to show for her efforts.

As she looked around the empty living room, Emma absent-mindedly tugged on the red and white knitted beanie she was wearing. When she was a teenager she’d been squatting in an abandoned house on a down-town block, a pretty rundown place, but a place none-the-less.

_She’d stood in the room she’d named the ‘living-room’ (that had mainly been called so in irony considering it was the only room that didn’t house live insects or rodents) and cast her eyes over the splintered floors, the dust settling on the torn couch and breathed in the damp smell. It had been so empty, so quiet she could hear the carollers across the street. She’d shouldered open the piece of plywood she used as a makeshift door and made her way out to the frozen footpath, trying to figure out where she should go to find a meal to celebrate this merry merry day. It was then that she heard an old lady call out to her from the house on the corner. She beckoned Emma over, pausing her knitting and gestured to inside her house. “You might as well come in and get yourself warmed up, there isn’t much point staying out in the cold on a day like this”. She didn’t know her, must only recognize her as the homeless girl across the street, and yet she was inviting Emma to spend the day in her own home. And Emma felt no reason not to, so she’d wondered inside and experienced her first warm Christmas that ended on a blissful note as she left with a full belly and a new beanie, made much like the Christmas hats worn this time of year._

Emma sighed. She had thought she’d gotten over her melancholy for this season. She’d shared some with her son and family but this year they were finally all together and just when she thought she could experience the kind of festive joy she’d seen across her street or in that home all those years ago, it drifted away from her grasp.

Closing the box she’d dedicated to Christmas decorations, Emma shoved it under the stairs. Turning to take in her home once again Emma felt a pang of loneliness. She’d never felt more alone. Now in a town where she was surrounded by people yet completely without them. It wasn’t a feeling she wasn’t used to.

The house was cold and eerily quiet. Like it was waiting for a radio to start up, for glasses to be clinked, for laughter to echo off its blue walls. Emma swallowed. She really did hate this time of year. Deciding she had no-one left to be with and nothing left to do, Emma grabbed a glass and her bottle of Jack Daniels before curling up on her couch and letting melancholy set in. She almost wished she was back in those houses, at least she’d been surrounded by foster kids, that had been better than this.

Bringing her knees up to her chest, Emma hugged them tight and wished she was elsewhere…anywhere, before a knock startled her.

 

Blinking, she wondered if she’d imagined it…like some kind of pathetic wishful thinking, before the knock sounded again, sounding almost impatient…if that was even possible, for a knock. Jumping off the couch, Emma rounded the coffee table and pulled open her front door, before she faltered. Standing there in all her red blazer, black pantsuit and heeled glory was none other than Regina Mills.

Before Emma could even register that the woman she was currently in lov-had a crush on, was standing at her front door, she was almost bowled over by lanky limbs crashing into her as her son surged forward and gave her a tight hug. “Merry Christmas Ma!”

Clutching him in return on instinct, Emma stood there shell-shocked. Her surprise …and possibly the melancholy she’d been cloaked in before she’d headed for the door, was probably noticeable to the other mother of her son as Emma noticed Regina smile sympathetically at her. Emma had no idea what to say or do. She stood wrapped up in her son as she simply stared at the other woman standing on her front porch.

Regina decidedly filled in the sudden silence when she realized Emma was a little at a loss for words. Clearing her throat, she ventured, “We heard you weren’t spending Christmas with your parents, since they’d left for the children’s Christmas camp and thought we would surprise you.”

 Emma couldn’t believe it. She tried to think of something to say but when no words came out she clamped her mouth shut and simply stared at the woman she adored feeling the beginning of moisture swimming in her eyes. No-one had ever done this for her before…

Emma tried to blink them away, gripping her son in a tighter hug. Regina’s smile faltered at the gesture and Emma tried to advert her teary eyes. Before she could get lost in the feeling of her now teenage son’s embrace, Henry pulled away with a giant grin on his face, oblivious to how his blonde mother was reacting.  
“Yeah we bought Christmas dinner and I even packed my PS4 so I can finally challenge you to a match on Overwatch”. She mustered a bright teary smile thanks to his enthusiasm. He really turned out better than she could have ever hoped for, he was so thoughtful when he wanted to be, even in the little things. All thanks to Regina. Looking up at the pair before her, Emma wondered how she was this lucky.

Henry gave her a small parting hug before bending over and picking up the containers and bags in one fell swoop like a champ before ambling into her kitchen and leaving the two women alone.

Turning back to Regina, Emma met her soft hazel gaze. Emma opened her mouth, “I…” she was about to say something before she closed it again and swallowed hard, at a loss of what to say. Regina seemed to realize, seemed to understand how much this meant to her. In one swift step of stiletto heels she was standing right in front of Emma and clasping her hands, her sympathetic eyes trailing over Emma’s face. At a loss, Emma simply stood there, trying to hold back tears. In all her life, no-one had been there for her like this…God she wished she could get a hold of herself. But she couldn’t bring herself to care…she was just so…overwhelmed.

Warm smooth thumbs began drawing soothing circles on the backs of Emma’s hands, the gesture seemingly subconscious to the brunette as she searched Emma’s eyes. She seemed to be trying to figure out something, like she was trying to find the right words. Emma relaxed into the simple comforting touch. Regina licked her lips tentatively, understanding seeming to radiate off the older woman and before Emma could think of what to say, Regina murmured “You don’t deserve to be alone”.

Emma’s breath caught painfully. Her heat twisting in her chest. Those simple words struck her harder than she even thought possible.

Regina smiled sympathetically at her, she seemed to know. Her hands squeezed Emma’s as the blonde shut her eyes and took in a sharp breath, fighting off the emotions trying to overtake her.

_God how could she be this lucky._

Opening her eyes, she saw the most concerned look that had ever crossed Regina’s face directed her way, it almost looked as though she was about to embrace her…or maybe even…

Emma’s gaze dropped to crimson lips before slowly lifting to meet Regina’s caring eyes. Red lips parted in a silent breath. Emma felt herself stepping forward and noticed Regina doing the same immediately, closing the remaining distance between them. Their eyes caught in each other’s, seemingly lost in a trance until their bodies encircled around clasped stroking hands, their warmth fighting off the winter chill that surrounded them.

Emma’s heart was beating frantically. What were they doing? Was it just in Emma’s head, were they taking that unspoken next step or was Regina merely stepping forward and being supportive? Emma was a bit of a mess, she wouldn’t be surprised…she had no idea what to think. These thoughts raced through her mind until Regina licked her lips tentatively, almost nervously, the movement drawing Emma’s attention…she always loved Regina’s lips.

But before either of them could act a noise in kitchen startled them. The sound of clanging pots hitting her kitchen floor sounded, no doubt Henry making a hot chocolate…or well, trying to. A loud “Sorry!” sounded from the kitchen, out of sight.

They turned back to one another and smiled sheepishly, with one last squeeze of Emma’s hands, Regina made her way inside, Emma following behind her…because she always did.

As Regina walked ahead Emma contemplated, realizing how far they’d come since her first night in Storybrooke when she’d been invited into the manor on Mifflin for the best glass of apple cider she’d ever tasted. They’d been through much in their lives. God so much. Regina had been manipulated, controlled, heartbroken countless times before finding her happiness in the one person that brought her and Emma together…well, after a year or so of heated arguments, fuelled with challenge and plenty of bite and a little while after when they began to understand one another. They both had troubled pasts, had both been betrayed and hurt beyond anything most had ever experienced. It’s what made them who they were, and what made them so drawn to each other, even as friends. But as Emma heard that in her own head, she knew it was a lie.  
  
She felt more than just attraction for the Mayor of this town and other mother of her child. And as Emma opened herself up to the idea, thinking about just how much she loved Regina’s snark, her wit, her ability to know what Emma needed, especially on days like this, it had Emma realizing something. In that moment, she knew after all the shit they’ve been through, after all the curses, after all the near-death experiences, after all the almost-goodbyes, she couldn’t wait any longer. Regina deserved better than that…so did Emma.

Looking back up to the woman walking before her, Emma decided.  
  
As Regina stepped under the mistletoe, Emma darted forwards and grasped her by the elbow, turning her to face Emma once again. Regina jolted in surprise and quirked an eyebrow at the woman who was suddenly staring back at her with barely contained awe.

Considering that actions had always done her better than words, Emma stepped into Regina’s space and coiled herself around Regina’s arm, tugging her close. Regina’s smile slowly slid across her face as she became entranced by the gesture, eyes twinkling slightly with wonder as Emma intimately clutched her arm close to her chest.

“Emma?” Regina asked.

Emma took a moment just to take her in. Emerald eyes traced over her round cheekbones, taking in the honey note she’d never seen in rich brown eyes until now, before moving down to her plump crimson lips, and the scar that rippled under its movements. Her gaze met Regina’s questioning eyes once more, before she let the smile she felt tugging at her pale lips spread and shine. Regina didn’t seem capable of holding back her own smile in response, widening until her eyes crinkled, and Emma’s heart warmed. For the first time in her life, she felt it. As Emma took her in and Regina waited, Emma finally realized. She’d been searching for so long and had failed to realize, she’d found her home a long time ago, in the woman now standing before her.

As the kitchen radio sounded carols through the house, the smell of heating chocolate and cinnamon reaching them in the hall, Emma whispered “Merry Christmas Regina” and lent in.

Their lips met with such newfound tenderness that it held them still for a moment. Their hearts beating wildly, their eyes fluttering shut, a small shiver running through them simultaneously. She couldn’t believe she was finally kissing her, it just felt so right. Plump lips parted slightly in a soft gasp and returned the kiss as Regina seemed to slowly come out of her haze at the sudden contact.

They turned towards each other, never breaking away from each other’s lips as Regina moved in Emma’s tight embrace, finally facing her. Lifting a hand cup Emma’s cheek, Regina stroked her cheekbone with a gentle thumb. Emma melted into her, arms letting Regina go and circling around her slender waist instead until they were flush against each other, cocooned in each other’s warmth. Lips parted as they deepened the kiss, Regina’s tongue darting out to trace a line along Emma’s until Emma let herself open up to her and their tongues met. They sighed into each other’s mouths, the contact long awaited and both of them felt it. They should have done this years ago. God why didn’t they do this years ago?

They melted into each other further, bodies sliding even closer until their thighs slipped between their legs. As Emma’s jean-clad thigh accidentally brushed against Regina’s clothed core she heard a soft moan from the older woman that sent a shiver down her spine and a ripple of sudden desire flooding through her. They hesitated, keeping their bodies just so, unsure of how much they could withstand before parting without taking things too far. Their tongues glided over each other, venturing and curling around each other. Emma let out a soft moan in response and clutched Regina to her tighter. She didn’t know how much more she could take without taking the brunette, right here, right now.

She felt the sudden urge to breathe fighting her desire to lengthen their kiss and knew she couldn’t last any longer. They broke apart with a sound of lips reluctantly letting go and panted against each other’s parted mouths, their breaths mingling. Emma was glad she wasn’t the only one who needed to break for air. But as she met Regina’s hooded gaze she knew they wouldn’t have if Emma hadn’t broken it for them. Blinking slowly, they drew themselves out of their haze, matching smiles forming on their now tender lips.  


“Hey mom, can we have marshmallows in our hot chocolates?!” Henry’s voice echoed from inside the kitchen making both women chuckle fondly as they remained in each other’s embrace. As their eyes met once again, Emma didn’t think she’d ever seen Regina’s shine so brightly. Seemingly lost in the older woman’s gaze, Regina smirked at the blonde, leaning in to place one last chaste kiss to those sweet lips before parting and murmuring “Merry Christmas Emma”.

Emma felt her heart warm at Regina’s words, taking one last moment to softly squeeze the brunette she clutched fondly in her arms. They pulled away and turned towards the kitchen, making their way towards carol music and their son, fingers finding each other along the way and lacing together, never coming apart until late into the night where they shared the many of firsts on that one sweet and merry Christmas.

And Emma had to admit…she kind of loved Christmas now.


End file.
